It may appear from my sometimes saccharin stylings that my life with cancer is all puppy dogs, balloons and ice cream sundaes. But truth be told, there are dark moments. Some more somber than others, but "gloomy" nonetheless. We all have these occasions - regardless of our health or wealth (or lack thereof of both), but I don't feel special or unique or more burdened than any of us who work hard to get through the day - sometimes.
During those trying times, the downward spiral makes it even harder to rise up out of a funk, and often can be most challenging to find a direction to go in that first step away from the darkness and back toward the light. It's those days when you just want to pull the covers back over your head and stay in bed all day; hiding from the overcast; waiting for the clouds to break. And that's when we need to call upon our good friend "Mo" - as in Motivation (not his cousin "Mo" as in momentum; from sports lore). It's what you grasp for when you reach down inside for an inspirational "handle" (sometimes very deep, other times right there in front of you) in an effort to drag yourself out of the dumps and inch back into the functioning world. One breath at a time / one step at a time / one bite at a time (the 'bite' reference is for those of you who are picking up what I'm putting down).
However, where I do feel special or unique is the support team that I have around me to keep me motivated. My Rosen d'etre as it were (oh you knew I wasn't going to pass on that one). Their motivating contributions live within me and most of them don't even realize the power that they offer or the strength that they provide. And that's ok - as their contribution is often unheralded, but is a powerful voice inside my mind - serving as emotional encouragement. Young or old, near or far, family or friends - at any given moment any one of them is the force that "lends the hand" to help pull me out and get me back on track.
No need for alarm or concern, but my sincere thanks to you all for being there without being here or even being aware of how your mere being has been helpful (Thanks Ruby!)
