Anyone who knows me, or who has read even a few of my blog posts, has quickly come to realize that I have no compunctions about sharing my diagnosis of or life with cancer. I don't necessarily mean to be aggressively "in your face" about it (have I lived in New Jersey too long?), nor is my intention to make the listener feel uncomfortable. Selfishly, being upfront about my disease - it's tribulations and triumphs - is my way of coping with the realities of what I am carrying around inside of me; physiologically and emotionally.
Others rightfully chose to take a more "in their space" approach to when and how they wish to share their news with the ones they love or the ones they just happen to know casually. Maybe they just don't have the words to express what they have and how they are feeling (still trying to process and manage that information in their own heads). Perhaps they feel that it's not an easy subject to work into a typical conversation about the weather or a favorite restaurant or a new show they are binge-watching (I mean what is the right time or way to say: OBTW I have cancer). Or, accepting the fact that cancer carries with it some sadness (as well as some hope), who in their right mind wants to be the bearer of bad news (especially if it will make the listener sad). So I can understand the hesitation on their part as well as the discomfort of the responsibility.
My up-front-ed-ness is not motivated by the desire to elicit attention or garner pity or transfer my discomfort to others. And there are plenty of things that I am just as equally reserved about - by contrast. Everyone has to live their life at their own pace. When they feel that the time is right: then the choice is theirs, the audience is theirs, and the method of communication is theirs. I personally found it cathartic and unburdening to tell my tale - but that's just how I felt comfortable with my situation. And I continue to amplify my accomplishments and angst to this very day.
I could easily be perceived as a HIPAA-compliance nightmare, but I give of myself freely and with no hesitation - hoping that in some possible way it could help ease the burden of others at the beginning of "their" journey. So, my intentions are sincere - if perhaps my execution is a bit ebullient. I appreciate your lenient listening and your latitude with my attitude.
