There are some things in life that we don't like to think about - different strokes for different folks. Life Insurance? Drawing up a Will? Long-term Elder care (for our elders, or our elder selves)? Today's sharing is just one small sampling of the many, many light and heavy things that I do think about. This in particular is neither an unchecked obsession nor reverse psychology - it's just part of what's rattling around in my brain. I appreciate that you have come along for the ride; accepting to read my unfiltered blather. So I apologize if in the course of this selfish process of mine the following upsets you.
The recent unfortunate passing from cancer of a very dear and long-time friend triggered this rumination (often demonstrated as a dichotomous dialogue between me and myself). The instinctual Fate question came up: Will my disease have a bearing on my passing that wouldn't have been a factor before contracting Multiple Myeloma? A quandary that the majority of us contemplate to some degree - perhaps one that gets a little more brain-time for cancer patients.
In response to the classic question for the Oncologist: “Doc, how long have I got to live?” - advancements in MM management and/or treatment make predicting the time frame nearly impossible - in a positive sense. To make matters better, burgeoning near-curative or fully-curative therapeutic discoveries are pushing the time of PFS (Progression Free Survival; a medical oxymoron for continuous months that the disease stops attacking) so far out into the future that here too, a demise date is difficult to determine. And unlike most other cancers, this disease doesn't attack a specific singular body part that will break down completely, so organ functionality failure will not slowly take over; causing a cascade of compromises that will contribute to my cessation. My key MM metrics and critical life-levels are closely monitored, so any slight increases in the return of cancerous myeloma cells are detected and repelled.
Worry not dear friends, this isn't the beginning of my end in any way - but it’s on my mind and I can't help but get it out and share. As odd as it may sound, it is highly likely that I will pass with Multiple Myeloma but not necessarily from Multiple Myeloma. Again, my sincere regrets if this topic has caused you any distress or discomfort . . . thanks for listening.
