We've talked before about the paradox that cancer is actually the rampant and unchecked growth of normal cells within our body, that for some reason develop at a destructive, dangerous and sometimes deadly rate, rather than a productive, controlled pace - keeping our body alive and healthy. Cancer is not foreign cells that enter our systems and wreak havoc, but rather existing cells that were there all along, but then go off on a malicious mass-producing mission.
I spent a beautiful sunny Sunday morning at a local, huge Pick-Ur-Own flower farm. Aside from the acres of colors splashed across fields of flora, I was particularly struck by the massive spread lying before me. I apologize for the way that my mind sometimes free associates, but it prompted me to have one of those 60’s-70’s out-of-body/in-the-body moments. You might be able to relate: It's when you imagine that possibly our entire universe is really just a mass of molecular ooze living inside some other entity. In the way that we have billions of protons, neutrons and electrons surrounding nuclei in our bodies, perhaps we are in turn the same level of particles spinning around in "someone" else's insides. I acknowledge that it's all pretty fantastical (as my father-in-law used to say), but cancer can be rather humbling and it makes one (or me, at least) realize that I'm just a small speck in a much larger macrocosm.
We are surrounded by examples of things that are much smaller than us and much larger than us. These help me maintain perspective on where I fit in in this world. I'm much bigger than the cancer molecules growing inside of me, yet I'm much smaller than the universe of science and medicine that is marshalling its collective forces against those tiny foes. I'm much bigger than the instant of my diagnosis, but much smaller than the totality of my life before and after that moment. I'm much bigger than the periodic cancer-related health challenges that catch up to me, on the other hand I'm much smaller than the network of family, friends and caregivers who are helping to keep me going for the long run. The Multiple Myeloma minefield inside of me is smaller than it has been since August 2017, and the potential for a long and healthy life is also much larger than any of us imagined on that fateful day. Growth: Controlled in both contracted and expanded ways.
