I think I'm coming out of the tunnel, but I'm not sure.
If I had broken my leg, I could tell if I was getting stronger walking and feeling less pain. If I had had a heart attack, I could tell if my ticker was tougher and I was on the road to recovery
But with my Multiple Myeloma I can't tell conclusively if I'm getting better - the answer lies in the analysis of my blood which as of now remains something I can't check at home.
So when people ask me how I feel, or if I wonder to myself if I'm feeling better, I suppose I am (way better than the days just after the transplant) - but is that the manifestation of my chosen sunny disposition, or legit improvement. Probably a little bit of both.
So I live week-to-week (not: weak, too weak, thankfully) waiting for results that confirm that my numbers (ANC, RBC, WBC, Platelets) are trending to the positive and I am actually getting better - coming out of the proverbial tunnel.
If only there was a Home Bone Marrow Biopsy kit --- not!!!